The dog Paradox.

A good dog doesn't usually fear many things, like cars, bikes, garbage trucks.
But then there are those who fear hair dryers and squeaky toys.

A normal dog doesn't fear bears, or mountain lions, or freakin' sharks.
But they will not make eye contact with the most innocent little kitten.

Good dogs like being clean, not muddy, and free of any left-overs from being outside.
And then there are the ones who like to roll in mud, eat various types of poop, and then decide to lick themselves in the worst places, and then proceed to lick you in the face.

Some dogs try to avoid the people that you like, and even 'hide' behind you if they try to pet them.
Then there are the dogs who (purposely, in my opinion) LOVE the people you can't stand.

(especially the creepy, dirty people)

There are dogs who have no care when you pay a random person to cut their man/lady bits out or off.
But then still try to hump everything in sight.

Every once and a while you might bump into them, or kick them, or trip on them.
But some dogs will just come running back to you, tail between legs, acting like it was their fault, and they are sorry.

There are those dogs who will eat poop, throw it up, eat the vomit, and then poop that out an hour later.

..And then try to eat it again.

Some dogs will eat everything. like q-tips, toilet paper, tampons, tin foil, boxes, shoe laces, grass, even the stuffing from their chew toy.
But then look at you funny when you try to feed them something actually edible like fruits, or snacks.

Dogs have an amazing sense of smell. So why do they have to go centimeters away from another dog's butt to sniff it.

If you're smell is that amazing, just do it from 10 feet away..

Some dogs have many fears, like: fireworks, loud noises or bright lights, even baths for some reason..
Even though none of those pose absolutely no threat to them.
But what they should be afraid of, like cars, weed whackers, tractors, etc, they just want to be friends with.

But a dog's biggest fear is being left alone. Whether it be for 3 seconds, or a day.
Their reaction is always the same:

I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BACK. OMG OMG OMG!

 

 

Dog's are our best friends, and we are theirs. But they will go their whole lives without even knowing our names..

 

Dogs are unfortunate animals to own, because when they get older; (unlike kids who turn into teenagers, then adults) they die of old age before they even get to their 'teenage' years.

 

So you spend countless hours training it, feeding it, making it into the best damn dog you can, this poor animal dies not very long after.

 

I guess that's why we love them so much, though, because their lives aren't lengthy, logical, or deliberate; but an explosive paradox of fuzziness, sharp teeth, and happiness.

 

And that's just fine with me.